Few people really know much about negotiation tactics. One of the major reasons is that they are too focused on what they want and how they can get it out of their divorce easily and quickly. Often that means stepping on their spouse’s toes whether done deliberately or not.
A win-win solution takes work, but the end result is worth the time and effort required. If you hope to establish peace and harmony in your divorce, you should learn the negotiation tactics that result in the best outcome for everyone.
The first step is to establish a common ground. At the outset of any negotiation there will be differences of opinion and objectives to meet. To start on the right foot it’s necessary to find those areas both sides can agree on. The goal of any negotiation session is to walk away from it with reaching a conclusion that satisfies both spouses. The negotiation tactic of finding common ground at the start smooths out divorce conflicts.
Another negotiation tactic is to listen with an open mind. It’s too easy to interrupt before your spouse has had a chance to say what’s on their mind. Everyone knows how to talk, but few have cultivated their listening skills. It’s hard to control the mouth when the mind is ready to engage in a rebuttal.
As long as something can be accomplished at the meeting, the tougher issues can wait for further negotiation sessions.
Be respectful of emotions. We are creatures of emotions and not reason. No matter what the subject or how accurate or misinformed your spouse is, they will not listen if they perceive their intelligence is being insulted. The negotiation tactic is to try and understand their feelings. Often, culture, language and race can affect the running of a meeting. A word spoken may have a different meaning or perhaps be insulting to the other party. When that happens you should be ready to apologize for the error.
Deal with issues one at a time is another important negotiation tactic. No one should be in a hurry to reach issues quickly because of time constraints. That can work against the party that’s in a hurry. You simply need to remain calm and deal with the issues as they come. But you should not use the other party’s time restraints as a bargaining chip in a collaborative divorce.
Another negotiation tactic is to control the meeting. Subjects can veer of into different directions. Get back to the central point with gentle reminders. Getting sidetracked can waste a great deal of time and energy and leave everyone frustrated as nothing was achieved at the meeting.
Propose creative solutions. There’s more than one solution available to the issues arising from your divorce. If you know what the problem is, one negotiation tactic is to take time to think about solutions before the meeting and propose them during the meeting. Don’t just assume you have the solution when more information is required. There are no strict rules as to how meetings should be conducted. Formally or informally, the best method to come to a satisfactory conclusion is by working with the other party to satisfy their needs as well as your own.
These negotiation tactics can help create a positive atmosphere and even lead to lasting friendships when your collaborative divorce is complete.